November 6, 2025
Are Churches Really Safe? What to Look for When Choosing a Church in Kernersville NC
Joshua Tufte
Are Churches Really Safe?
Let's be honest: this question shouldn't have to be asked, but here we are. And if you're asking it, you're already being wise. Whether you're new to Kernersville, new to faith, or just looking for a church home where you can actually feel... well, safe, this conversation matters more than ever.
I've been pastoring for over a decade now, and I've seen both sides of this coin. I've watched churches get security spectacularly wrong, and I've seen what it looks like when a church creates genuine safety, not just the kind that keeps bad guys out, but the kind that lets hurting people in.
So let's talk about what real church safety looks like and what you should be looking for when you're church shopping in our little corner of North Carolina.
Physical Safety: More Than Just Locks and Cameras
Here's what I wish someone had told me when I started in ministry: church security isn't about creating a fortress, it's about creating a haven. There's a big difference.
A truly secure church should have done its homework. They should have conducted a security risk assessment, covering everything from their building layout to how they handle money on Sundays.
So, here is what to look for:
Are there greeters who clearly know what they're doing beyond just saying hello?
Do they have adequate lighting in the parking lot? (Trust me, this matters more than you think.)
Are doors managed well, meaning they know which ones should be locked and which ones shouldn't?
Is there a communication system in place for emergencies?
The parking lot is actually a big deal. I know it sounds weird, but criminals know that during church services, cars are left unattended for an hour or more at predictable times. A good church pays attention to this stuff.
Some churches hire professional security services. Others train volunteers with law enforcement or military backgrounds. Both can work great; what matters is that someone's actually thinking about it.
Emotional and Spiritual Safety: The Harder Conversation
Okay, here's where it gets real. Physical safety is the easier part. Emotional safety? That's where churches often struggle, and honestly, it's where the real damage happens.
I remember talking to a woman who told me, "Josh, I've been hurt by churches before. How do I know this place is different?" That question broke my heart and made me realize we needed to do better at showing, not just saying, that we're a safe place for broken people.
Red flags to watch for:
Leadership that never admits mistakes or shows vulnerability
Preaching that sounds like "we're right, everyone else is wrong" all the time
An absence of support ministries for real-life struggles
Green flags to look for:
Pastors who talk about their own failures and growth
Support groups for grief, divorce, addiction, or other life challenges
Leadership that includes diverse voices and perspectives
Teaching that's more about "here's what Scripture says" and less about "here's why we're better than them"
Before you ever step foot in a church building, there is an easy and effective way to learn more about them. Spend some time on its website. Listen to a few sermons online. Do they sound like people you'd want to have coffee with? Do they talk about helping hurting people, or do they mostly talk about how awesome their church is? Is the Bible a consistent focus during teaching? Are the messages relatable?
Leadership Structure: Character Over Charisma
This might be the most important thing I tell people: don't choose a church based on how polished the pastor's preaching is. I know a pastor who can make the phone book sound inspiring, but his church is an emotional disaster zone because he's never learned to say "I was wrong."
Look for leaders who demonstrate the "fruit of the Spirit": love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These aren't optional character traits for church leaders; they're non-negotiables.
Pay attention to how disagreements are handled. Every church has them; what matters is whether they're handled with grace or with pride. A healthy church can have people who disagree about secondary issues while still loving each other well.
Child Protection: Non-Negotiable Territory
If you have kids, this should be one of your first questions. And even if you don't have kids, how a church protects children tells you everything about their values.
Churches should have clear policies about background checks, two-adult rules in children's areas, and transparent procedures for reporting concerns. If they get defensive about these questions or act like asking is somehow distrustful, that is a red flag.
At Passion Church, we're actually grateful when parents ask these questions because it shows they're engaged and protective. That's exactly what we want. Our kids' ministry operates with full transparency because children's safety isn't negotiable.
The Practical Stuff: How to Actually Evaluate
Here's my advice when looking at a church to attend from this perspective:
Start online. Spend 30 minutes on their website. What do they emphasize? What do they barely mention? Do they sound like people you'd want to know?
Listen to sermons. Most churches post them online now. Listen to 2-3 recent messages. How does the pastor handle Scripture? How does he talk about people who disagree with him? Does he sound humble or arrogant?
Visit slowly. Don't feel pressured to jump in with both feet. Visit a few times, attend different types of gatherings, talk to regular people (not just the staff).
Ask good questions:
What's your church's approach to people who are struggling?
How do you handle disagreements within the leadership?
What support do you offer for people going through difficult seasons?
Can you tell me about your security procedures?
What Safety Looks Like at Passion Church
I'm obviously biased, but I think we've learned some things about creating genuine safety over the years. We've got trained volunteers who help with security, & uniformed officers at every service, but they're also the same people who'll help you find the bathroom or get your kids checked in.
We believe safety means creating space for people to ask hard questions, struggle with doubt, and work through real-life problems without judgment. It means having clear policies that protect everyone, especially the vulnerable.
Most importantly, it means understanding that church isn't supposed to be a place for perfect people; it's supposed to be a hospital for broken people. If you're looking for perfect, you're going to be disappointed. If you're looking for an authentic, grace-filled community where you can grow and heal, well, that's what we're shooting for.
Your 10-Minute Daily Challenge
Here's something you can start today: spend 10 minutes each day this week researching one church in the Kernersville area. Look up their website, listen to part of a sermon, read their values or beliefs page.
Don't worry about making a decision yet: just start getting familiar with what's out there. By the end of the week, you'll have a much better sense of which churches might be worth visiting in person.
The goal isn't to find the perfect church (spoiler alert: it doesn't exist), but to find a place where you can be known, loved, and challenged to grow in your faith.
Come Check Us Out
Look, I'd love for you to visit Passion Church, but more than that, I want you to find a church home where you can thrive and grow closer to Jesus Christ. If that's us, awesome. If it's not, I genuinely hope you find what you're looking for.
But if you want to see what we're about, come join us this Sunday at either 9:30am or 11:00am. We'll be the ones trying to create the kind of place we'd want our own families to attend: safe, authentic, and full of grace.
We are located at 612 Edgewood Street, Kernersville NC, 27284.
You're not just welcome here, you're wanted.
Come as you are, questions and all. Let's figure out this faith thing together.
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Passion Family, Over the last few weeks in The Playbook series, we haven’t just been talking about vision — we’ve been talking about formation . About who God is shaping us to be as His people in this season. At Passion Church, we believe the Kingdom of God moves forward through partnership, not pressure. Through people who say, “God, You can count on me.” That’s why we’re stepping into Commitment Sunday and a Month of Partnership together. Below you’ll find links to our website with more information about Commitment Sunday, what it means to partner with Passion Church, how to get involved, and a deeper look at Project OIKOS. Please take time to read through this and follow the links. We are prayerfully inviting our church family to seek what God is calling them to do. Our next steps are significant, and this is where you can begin partnering with us. What does it mean to partner with Passion Church? On Commitment Sunday, we’re inviting our church family to prayerfully step into four commitments — not as boxes to check, but as a way of life: GROW Choosing to go deeper in your walk with Jesus — being rooted in Him, authentic before Him, and intentional about spiritual growth. SERVE Using your gifts to love people well — stepping into compassion, meeting real needs, and helping carry the mission of the church forward. GIVE Living generously — not out of guilt or obligation, but as an act of worship and a reflection of God’s heart in a broken and divided world. ATTEND Showing up consistently — building your life around worship, community, and the work God is doing through this house. This isn’t about perfection. It’s about faithfulness . It’s about alignment. It’s about saying yes to what God is doing here. A Word to Those Already Partnered With Passion Church If you are already partnered with Passion Church, I want to say thank you . Your faithfulness, generosity, and willingness to show up have helped shape this church into what it is today. Because of your commitment, lives are being changed and the Kingdom of God is moving forward through this house. During this season, we’re inviting our existing partners to renew their partnerships —not because anything was lacking, but because God is leading us into a new chapter. Renewal is a way of saying, “God, I’m still in. I’m still aligned. And I’m ready for what You’re doing next.” This season is an opportunity to recommit with fresh faith, fresh vision, and a renewed sense of purpose as we move boldly into the future together. Commitment Sunday & the Month of Partnership Commitment Sunday is the starting point — and our largest moment — where we commit together as a church family. Through this Sunday, it will not only unite us in purpose but also allow leadership, myself, staff members, the advisors, and our external oversight team (Elders) to gauge where we are in the process of launching our new campus, both with volunteers and finances. It launches a full Month of Partnership throughout February, giving everyone the opportunity to take their next step in partnership with Passion Church. Beginning February 1 and continuing through the end of the month : Partnership and commitment forms will be available at the Connection Desk each Sunday Online commitment forms will remain open on our website Upfront gifts for Project OIKOS can be given at any time Long-term giving commitments can be submitted throughout the month While Commitment Sunday is our primary push — the moment we believe God will unite us most powerfully — we also want to create space for those who are traveling, sick, new to Passion Church, or simply need more time to pray. 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Ask not, “What’s expected?” but “What is God inviting us into?” And whether you are partnering for the first time or renewing your partnership , this Month of Partnership is your opportunity to say yes. We are not trying to build something flashy or glamorous. We are building something faithful. Something rooted. Something that will impact lives for generations. I am honored to walk into this next season with you. With gratitude and excitement, Pastor Josh Passion Church
Before we talk about who God is, I want to invite you to pause and open your heart. We all bring something into conversations about God: • childhood experiences • past church wounds • cultural assumptions • religious confusion • parental mistreatment • or even silence about God For many, the very word “God” carries layers of misunderstanding. So as we explore this doctrine, I’m asking you to do three things: 1. Lay down past assumptions. Not every idea you were taught about God was accurate. 2. Allow Scripture to speak clearly. We are approaching this biblically—not through wounds, fears, or culture. 3. Give grace to your own story and the stories of others. Many people struggle with their view of God. You’re not alone. My goal is not to overwhelm you with theology. My goal is to help you see God clearly, love Him deeply, and trust Him fully. Now, let’s walk together through who God reveals Himself to be. ________________________________________ 1. God Is Creator — The Beginning of Everything Begins With Him The Bible opens with a bold, simple declaration: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” — Genesis 1:1 And honestly, I find it a little humorous how people often present the two major views of how everything began. On one hand, you have the Big Bang: An invisible, unexplainable force that made something out of nothing. On the other hand, you have God: An invisible, eternal Being who made something out of nothing. When you put them side by side, it’s almost funny. In both cases, a cause outside the visible universe sparks life into existence. Both require faith. Both ask us to believe in something we can’t physically observe. The real question isn’t whether an invisible cause started everything. The real question is Who or what that cause is. Some say the universe exploded into existence with no personal intent or meaning. Christians believe the universe was spoken into existence by a personal God filled with purpose, creativity, and love. And here’s the irony: Even the Big Bang—a sudden burst of light and energy—sounds very similar to “Let there be light.” It just depends on how you view it. Many scientists now affirm the universe had a beginning— that time, space, and matter came into existence suddenly, and that the cause must exist outside of all three. That sounds a whole lot like God. Science often describes how things work. The Bible reveals Who made them work— and why He made them at all. God didn’t create because He needed anything. He created because He is overflowing with love, creativity, and purpose. You are not an accident. You are not random. You were created intentionally by a God who knows you and loves you. ________________________________________ 2. God Is Eternal — Unchanging, Unbound by Time, Always Present Psalm 90:2 says: “From everlasting to everlasting, You are God.” God existed before the universe. He exists beyond time. He does not age, weaken, or evolve. He is not learning or adjusting. He simply is. When Moses asked for His name, God responded: “I AM WHO I AM.” — Exodus 3:14 Not “I was.” Not “I will be.” Just I AM—constant, faithful, ever-present. This matters because: • Feelings change. • People change. • Circumstances change. • Cultures change. God does not. The God who spoke in Genesis is the same God listening to your prayers today. You can build your life on a God who never shifts. ________________________________________ 3. God Is Father — Loving, Protecting, Guiding, and Caring for His Children When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He didn’t say: • “Our Judge…” • “Our Creator…” • “Our King…” He said: “Our Father…” — Matthew 6:9 Jesus intentionally revealed the heart of God as a Father— not distant, cold, or harsh, but relational, present, deeply loving. But for many people, the word “father” is complicated. If your earthly father: • abandoned you, • criticized you, • abused you, • ignored you, • or failed to protect you, then seeing God as Father may feel painful or impossible. Here is the truth you need to hear: God is not the reflection of your earthly father. He is the perfection of fatherhood. Scripture reveals that God is a Father who: • Loves His children (1 John 3:1) • Protects them (Psalm 46:1) • Provides for them (Matthew 6:31–32) • Guides them (Psalm 23) • Disciplines them out of love (Heb. 12:6) • Delights in them (Zeph. 3:17) He is the Father who runs to the prodigal, not away. The Father who carries His children when they are weak. The Father who fights for His family. The Father who never leaves, never wounds, never abuses, never manipulates. He is the Father your soul was created for. ________________________________________ 4. God Is Triune — One God in Three Persons We believe in one God who exists eternally as: • Father • Son • Holy Spirit Not three gods. Not one God wearing three masks. Not one God shifting between roles. One Being. Three Persons. Perfect unity. Why does this matter? 1. God has always been relational. Love existed before creation within the Trinity. 2. God models unity and partnership. The Father plans, the Son accomplishes, the Spirit empowers. 3. The Trinity reveals the depth of God’s love. The Father sends. The Son sacrifices. The Spirit transforms. The Trinity isn’t a puzzle. It’s a beautiful mystery that shows us God’s relational, united, and loving heart. ________________________________________ 5. God Is Sovereign — Fully in Control, Completely Good Sovereignty does not mean: • God forces human choices • God removes free will • God causes evil • God micromanages every detail Sovereignty means: • God’s authority is absolute • God’s plans are unstoppable • God is never surprised • God is never defeated • God works all things for the good of His people God’s sovereignty isn’t about control— it’s about trustworthiness. He is powerful enough to rule creation and tender enough to walk with you through pain. ________________________________________ 6. God Is the Giver of Free Will — The Gift That Makes Love Possible Free will is one of God’s greatest gifts—second only to grace. Why? Because love cannot exist without choice. If God forced obedience, forced worship, forced devotion— it wouldn’t be love. So God gave humanity the ability to: • obey or disobey, • pursue Him or reject Him, • choose good or choose evil, • forgive or stay bitter, • love or hurt, • move toward God or away from Him. This gift is beautiful… and dangerous. It is the foundation for: • every act of kindness • every act of evil • every moment of worship • every moment of rebellion Free will explains why beauty exists and why brokenness exists. You are not a robot. You are a person God loves— a person capable of choosing Him freely. God’s sovereignty and human free will do not compete. They work in perfect tension. God’s will is ultimate. Your choices are meaningful. Together, they shape your life and your relationship with God. ________________________________________ 7. God Is Good — Perfect in Character, Perfect in Love Everything God does flows from His goodness. He cannot: • lie • manipulate • harm • betray • act out of evil He is holy, just, patient, merciful, gracious, and loving. If anything in your life contradicts His goodness, it did not come from Him. ________________________________________ 8. Why Understanding God Matters for Everyday Life If God is Creator — your life has purpose. If God is Father — you are loved and safe. If God is Eternal — He is your anchor. If God is Triune — you were designed for community. If God is Sovereign — you can trust Him. If God gives free will — your choices matter. If God is good — you can run to Him, not from Him. Your entire worldview rises or falls on who you believe God is. ________________________________________ 9. Don’t Just Take My Word for It — Explore Him Yourself Read these Scriptures this week: • Genesis 1 • Psalm 23 • Psalm 90 • Matthew 6 • Luke 15 • John 14–17 • Romans 8 • 1 John 3–4 Ask God to reveal Himself to you as: • Creator • Father • Sovereign • Good • Present Don’t quit when Scripture stretches you. Lean in. Ask questions. Search. God loves revealing Himself to those who seek Him. ________________________________________ 10. Final Thought: The Way You See God Shapes the Way You Live If you believe God is distant, you will feel alone. If you believe He is harsh, you will hide. If you believe He is controlling, you will resist. If you believe He is passive, you will feel abandoned. But if you believe He is: • Creator • Eternal • Triune • Father • Sovereign • Good • Loving • Wise • Present …then everything about your life changes. Your identity changes. Your peace changes. Your purpose changes. Your relationships change. Your decisions change. Your worship changes. Who God is determines who you become. Anchor your life to the God who created you, loves you, redeemed you, empowers you, guides you, and walks with you every step of the way.